Change...

Over the last 6 months or so I have really been struggling... we have been through the whole moving, buying/selling a house saga, I have gotten an insulin pump (trying to get healthier), moved in with my parents, had A LOT of stress and surprises with the house business and I have also put on quite a bit of weight and have just had an overwhelming sense of not feeling the greatest about myself. They all kind of tie in together, being a diabetic, I struggle with weight loss anyways, but being put on an insulin pump just makes it that much harder to lose weight, and can actually lead to weight gain because you're in better control of your blood sugars because you're taking more insulin. This whole situation stressed me out, on top of all the stress from everything else... I guess you could say I have been VERY depressed and having an extremely hard time accepting myself and that I am worth anything. I have felt like a failure and embarrassed for people to see me because of the change in my body. I felt like I had hit rock bottom pretty much, not knowing which road or path to take to try to fix my problem and make me feel better about myself. I had thought of everything trust me, the good and the bad.   Anyways this last Sunday something changed in me.... No I hadn't drastically lost an unbelievable amount of weight (although I wish!!) I wasn't even able to go to church that day because of work, but I came home and decided to watch some LDS movies and it was like a light switch had been turned on or something. I realized that I was trying to do everything by myself. I was not reading my scriptures. I was not praying. I was thinking only of myself and I was miserable. I had forgotten that somebody was there to help me if I had only been willing to ask for help.  Since that day I have been really trying to focus on the good, and relying on my Heavenly Father. It has made a big difference. I was also able to go to the Brigham City Temple yesterday with my mom to do initiatories and I cannot tell you how good I feel! I feel like I am going to burst with happiness. I have that feeling of excitement and joy inside me and it feels good! I am loving this change and i hope it stays this way.  I wanted to write this down so I could look back on this when I start feeling down again and hopefully will help me to feel better!!

~Life Lately~

Life lately has been really good and exciting! We finally sold our car and bought us a brand new dodge dart! It's a stick shift, which I'm not used to but I'm learning and getting the hang of it! Also, even more exciting news.... WE GOT AN OFFER ON OUR HOUSE!!! We accepted the offer on Saturday and as of today our house is under contract!! I cannot tell you how much of a relief it is to finally have things working out for us! I am so excited to start house hunting and to finally get a place of our own! I hope I'm not jumping the gun, but they seem very confident that everything will work out with the buyers and they will want to close on September 12 I believe! That is coming up fast so hopefully everything works out!!!
I have been feeling a bit better about myself since my last post, although some days are better than others. I find that when I look on Facebook or other peoples blogs or sometimes even pinterest I find myself comparing my body, life and everything about me to other people and become depressed and I get the feeling that I'm not as good as everyone else or that I'm not exercising enough, or the right way or eating right or that my life just isn't as good as everyone else's, but the truth is, I am very blessed in my life and I need to just try to be happy with myself. If that means staying off of Facebook then that's what I will do. It's not worth  making me feel inadequate about my life or myself. I love my life, my family and my husband and I am excited to see what the future holds for us!!

Frustrations...

I promise all of my posts will not be negative but things have just been a little rough around here lately and I am REALLY hoping things start looking up.
First off, for the past month pretty much, Jeff and I have been sick. I had the flu one week, Jeff's cold the next week and a half to two weeks, then I had a gallbladder attack and a bladder infection this past week. Holy cow can I say how miserable that has been?? Talk about PAIN! The dr wants me to go and do the test where they inject the dye into you and see if your gallbladder is working correctly and to be honest I sure hope that's what it is, only because I will have an answer as to what has been wrong with my stomach for so long. I cant lose weight, I have been SO bloated especially this last month that I look pregnant (which I'm not) and its extremely frustrating! I have been so sick that I haven't been able to work out as much and I just haven't had the energy at all and it sucks! So with that I have gained weight and I feel horrible! For the longest time I had been working out and feeling so good about myself and then the last six months I feel everything has just been taking steps backwards and all of my hardwork is down the drain and I'm getting back to the fat old me and that is really hard to see. I am and have tried everything to lose weight from getting a personal trainer working out six days a week harder than I ever worked out sometimes even twice a day, to see no results. I saw a nutritionist, tried my own things and nothing has helped me. I am so frustrated and sick of not feeling like myself that I really am willing to do anything!! Enough of this topic,I could go on forever...
Secondly, we have been trying to sell our townhouse for quite a while now and have had no luck whatsoever. We have shown our house multiple times And everyone says they love it, yet we're still in it!! We have recently lowered our asking price and haven't even shown it once... We just want our own place, somewhere to call OURS, not feeling like its just Jeff's. We also have been trying to sell my car to get something new to both of us and have had no luck. It's just really frustrating because we are both ready for something new and to start a new chapter in our lives but we just can't quite get there and I'm having a really hard time with this!!

New Year, New Me!! (Hopefully)

So even though it's already the middle of January (Where does the time go?) I have been thinking a lot about some things I would definitely like to work on this year.... Everyone's resolutions are usually about exercising and eating right, which of course part of my list too, but I want to make a lot of changes within myself as well....
1- Worry less!!! I swear I worry about everything and anything! It makes me absolutely crazy and I often find myself worrying about the smallest little "Things." I don't want to worry about "things" anymore. I want to just live my life taking it one day at a time, and taking whatever comes to me and just dealing with it as it comes my way! I can't do anything about the things I have no control over so I need to quit worrying so much about them and just live my life in a positive way!
2- Be more Christ-like- The past year I have found myself to be rather negative and I often find myself judging others or having mean thoughts! (I partly blame my dang IUD for making me crazy, although that is another post entirely!) I would get so mad at people and so worked up and angry that I literally would want to hit someone or pull my hair out, whichever came first! Then I finally get my thoughts calmed down and I think, you never know what they're going through or what battle their facing in their lives. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love everyone, even me, and wants everyone to be happy and to be kind to others no matter what the circumstance is. I often find myself getting angry at people and jealous instead of being happy for other people's successes in their life. This, I want to change! A lady I work with has been the greatest example to me about what it's like to be Christ-like. She's so sweet and she is so kind to everyone no matter what is going on here or whatever is going on in her life. She's always so willing to help others and serve others and I want to be more like that instead of being so selfish and always thinking about me! My mom is also probably the GREATEST example of what kind of person I want to be. She is always thinking of other people before herself. She's always helping others no matter how tired, sick, hurt, or sad she may be. You can never tell when she's down because she never let's it show, she just puts on her happy face and is so positive and continues to serve others. I would give anything to be like that so that is one thing I want to work on, I want to forget about myself, and concentrate on helping and serving others, whether that be my husband, people at work or my own family!
3-I realize exercise and eating right is important, especially for a diabetic, but I have found that I am OBSESSING with it. I am obsessed about trying to make myself LOOK better instead of really make myself healthier for strictly health purposes. It got to the point where I would weigh myself 3 times a day to make sure I didn't gain anything and to see if I had lost anything... I didn't care what I was doing for my blood sugars or my body as long as the scale showed I lost something! I want to get my blood sugars under complete control so that whenever we decide to have kids, I can make sure I'm healthy enough to make sure they're healthy as they can be! I still plan on exercising and eating right, but I want to do it for the right reasons...


This could go on forever. I know these changes aren't going to happen overnight, but I know that if I keep working on these goals that they will happen and I will notice a change in my life and I hope that others will notice a change as well. I know it will make me happier and enjoy life more if I make these changes and it will make all the relationships in my life better as well! Wish me luck!

Come and Gone...

Well I haven't blogged for a long time, but 2011 has come and gone. One of the highlights of our year was our 1 year Anniversary!!! Yes we actually made it a year!!! It's true what they say though, the first year is the hardest! We are learning more and more about each other and we're still getting the hang of being married but I sure do love my Hubby! We had a good anniversary. With it being right after Thanksgiving we both took some time off work and just hung out. We slept in (something I never get to do) and just woke up and did whatever we wanted to do! We had a lot of fun going shopping, going out to eat and just being together! I suck at taking pictures but that's one of my New Year's resolutions to make this blog more interesting!     Christmas was fantastic! We both got spoiled and loved spending time with our families. We are looking forward to 2012 and to see what this next year brings us. We are already planning another cruise! I will try to blog more and add more pictures so this isn't so boring!

God Gave Me You

So I heard Blake Shelton's new song on the radio and I absolutely LOVE it!! I think it is so cute and I just love the message in it and it's exactly how I feel about my husband! I have always loved him but something has changed within the last few weeks that have really made me love him so much more and really appreciate him and I am so glad that I have him to help me through everything for eternity! Anyways enough of the sappy love stuff, I have put the lyrics below for your reading pleasure!

"God Gave Me You"

I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me
And watch as the storm blows through
And I need you

Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you
Gave me you

There’s more here than what we’re seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr
And I’ll be the flattered fool
And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you, gave me you.
He gave me you.

Happy Birthday Hubby!

Saturday September 24 was my good lookin'  husbands birthday! He turned the big 29! haha He's getting old! jk But we had a great weekend celebrating. We started off our weekend with a little getaway to Salt Lake to stay at the Grand America...  Yes we're moving up in the world!  Just kidding, we just decided to splurge and have a fun little one night stay at a very fancy hotel for his special day! It was amazing, we felt like real rich high class people haha! We then went to Old Spaghetti Factory and had some pretty amazing grub! Off we went to the movie after that, we went and saw Moneyball and let me tell you, it was a very good show! It was one of those movies that just made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside haha! You can't go to The Gateway without stopping at the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory and getting an apple pie caramel apple.... Oh my YUM! I am obsessed. I seriously have an obsession with fruit lately I don't know what it is, but anyways the next morning we got up and went to the Farmers Market for the first time down in Salt Lake and got some really yummy jam and some other fun treats. While we were gone I had my mom come and hang up a big birthday sign on our window so everyone around would know it's his birthday!! He was pretty embarrassed! That night we went to dinner with his family  to TGIFridays. His niece Alyssa has the same birthday as him and that's where she decided to go. We ended the night up at the Nelson house opening presents and having blueberry cheesecake and ice cream that he requested. It was a very fun weekend and he even got his own Denver Broncos pillow pet! We have a slight obsession with those ( I probably shouldn't say that out loud, but I figure nobody reads this anyways) Sunday we celebrated with my family. We played badmitten had some more delicious food and brownie ice cream sundays! I think we ate a little too much food, but you gotta splurge on the husbands birthday right!? Anyways, this is quite a long post but I just had to thank my husband for being born and letting us have an amazing weekend! I love him very much and don't  know what I would do without him! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE!